Getting it off my chest!

Ok this is my day to rant and rave so if you do not want to hear about it don't read it! Sorry I will post something more positive this week but I need to get this off my chest now.

The kids were with dad all weekend so I don't have much to report other than he is moving them again. The poor kids keep getting shuffled around.My ex is such a jerk and it is frustrating for me and the kids, especially Maddy.

He has no job and could not stay in his original apartment because he didn't pay his rent or utilities. Now he is with his mom where the animals run the house, so he knows I don't like that and I know all the cats in his moms house frustrate him too but moving in with his 16 yr old nephew and his nephews father is not the answer I wanted to hear for my 7 yr old daughter. I don't feel comfortable with that at all.
He does not provide health insurance for them because he has no job and my work will not take him off of my health insurance until the divorce is final. So now I have to pay for him to have health insurance starting this new year! He refuses to sign the papers because he knows he will lose his insurance I am providing for him. He is such a leech! In order to force him to sign the papers I have to cough up over $500 to  the courts. And to make matters worse I just found out I have to pay $25 in January just to recieve the tiny amount of child support from him throughout the year. Right now the only support I get is from his unemployment. I get $92.00  every two weeks for them. That isn't even enough to pay daycare, let alone food and clothes. But because we have them equal amounts of time the state says he has to provide for them too. Problem is he doesn't provide for them by buying them clothes or jackets or snow boots! I asked Maddy why she didn't go out in the snow this weekend and she said because daddy doesn't have any snow clothes for me. Well he barely pays support because supposedly he is covering half their clothes so why doesn't he go out and buy her some snow boots! Once unemployment runs out he will not have any income to provide for his kids.

Well he won't have any income the government knows about. He is working under the table and making good money but not even giving me lunch money for Maddy.

I have tried to get custody because of other issues too. Their father also has a problem with substances, I have physically put him in rehabs in the past and paid for them! You won't believe this, the state actually told me unless the children are physically hurt in his custody there is nothing the state can do to take the children away. I asked "what if he was driving with them in the car under the influence?" The state workers who came to my house said unless the children physically get hurt there is nothing they can do. I met a women at the courthouse the other month who went through the same thing, she got her daughter full time after the father put her daughters head through a television and nearly killed her. But the state saw nothing wrong with the dads anger issues. Unbelievable!!
I should not have to rely on courts to tell me my kids are safe when at times I know they are not!
How come a 32 year old man cannot provide financially for his family? He thinks living off of unemployment and not having to provide health insurance for his critically ill child is OK. I am sorry but that is not OK.

More than half the reason I have been so sick lately is because this is the crap I have to deal with everyday and the stress alone is killing me. I have been working on the books since I was 10 yrs old and have never once not had a job in 19 years! I have a full-time career, two college degrees and he can't even get off his butt to go to work flipping burgers to provide for his children. How comes the state can allow him to be such a deadbeat.

All I can hope for is that Madison fills her life with good people and strong women. The strong women in this family will look after her and teach her what she needs to know.

Looking back I should have never married him, but I did. My mistake.
Now I only want to be able to be strong and take care of my babies and raise them the right way!

He is their father, that will never change and I know they love him, but he has to stop being selfish and start being selfless. He needs to be a man, get a job, support his children and most importantly get health insurance for his very sick little boy.